from February 14, 2007
Yesterday was indeed a pivotal day in hiphop for the 401.
Martin Scorsese's The Departed (an excellent film) debuted on DVD.
All across Rhode Island, emcees and deejays (and those who fancy themselves to be those things, despite cries from the public insisting the contrary) who caught the flick in the theatre scrambled to the local big-box stores to cop the disc... because they knew what kind of gold it contained.
Not only did it crack a billion on the bananas scale* because
-The word "fuck" and its derivatives are said 237 times throughout the film.**
-The word "cunt" is spoken 22 times throughout the film.**
-MAD MAFUCKAS GET MURKED
-THERE'S FUCKIN
but it also contained...
INTERLUDE GOLD.***
Now, anyone who's peeped Kegstand Poetry or the Rye Commentary EP that preceded it knows I have a bit of an obsession with using dialogue samples to frame joints. I feel it helps the narrative establish itself in the minds of the listeners, breaks up the record a bit, allows me to get on my subliminal Roger Ebert (pause), and is just generally a good time.
However... there's got to be rules when selecting those samples. And those Departed lines you're thinking of using for between-song hijinks breaks them all.****
I'm absolutely positive that some of the sentences in The Departed will find their way onto umpteen mixtapes and "MySpace throwaway tracks" 'round these parts.
But, you need not worry (word to Formulatin Fathers): your friendly neighborhood SD is here to save the city from this impending siege.
A few bold predictions as to some of the contender for 'Most Overused Line on Local Mixtapes 2007/2008"*****:
"Guineas from the north and down Providence gonna tell me what to do."
"I'm sorry, but it was necessary. As for our problem with Providence - let's not cry over some spilled Guineas."
and of course, many uses of the word "Mafia" that can be used in so many clever ways.
There's more. You'll find them on your own, I'm sure.
I'm here to let you know, before the first one of these atrocities finds its way into your track, its played. Wack. Disinteresting. Not a good look.
Not the film. The film is off the meter. Your samples.
Everyone in your genre is going to see that movie.
Everyone in your area code with a DVD drive and a cracked copy of Cool Edit is going to rip those lines.
Everyone in your zip code is going to listen to your CD-R using the same lines.
No one is going to think that's the strong move.
(And if someone does, that's a person whose opinions you should immediately and always dismiss as frighteningly out of touch).
Best of all, some genius is going to accuse someone of "biting" their extremely original and cutting edge vocal dig when they unearth a second track using an identical line reading.
Look kids, I'm just here to offer advice, to try and stop you before you embarrass yourself, Martin Scorsese and hiphop all in one click of a mouse. I want you to know: you're better than that.
And if you're really not, well, we'll give you a pass this time. Laminate it. Cherish it. It only comes around once.
So, to conclude: No samples from The Departed regarding any of those things we've discussed on any release you are currently screaming is "coming soon" and will contribute to your "takeover" and warning us that we "ain't ready."
(Off the subject, if you keep letting us know that we're not ready, we may take note and begin to prepare, and consequently will actually be ready when your product arrives. Use this information as you see fit).
You'll thank me later, I promise.
Crying over spilled Guineas,
SD
*EDITORS NOTE: I will use this huge banana on the moms of the first person I catch using these samples on product.
**accurate, actual stats, according to some (alleged) crackhead on amazon.com
***gold is the new platinum.
****I will not be listing the rules. Use context clues to figure out the rest of them.
*****Bet you wish Mortal was still around to throw some wacky awards show now, don'tcha, moneygrip?
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